Since ancient times, there is a very interesting saying in China: Fight rice to raise grace, fight rice to raise grudges. I am helping you in time, you wish my family would be destroyed, and even more so, I really come to kill you! There is a "...
Since ancient times, there is a very interesting saying in China: Fight rice to raise grace, fight rice to raise grudges.
I am helping you in time, you wish my family would be destroyed, and even more so, I really come to kill you!
There is a "immorality" called personality destructionLet me tell you a story:
In the city, someone has a small house built by a single unit, about 20 square meters. Because the house is small and the economic situation at home improves, someone buys another big house. The small house has been empty due to the decoration of a new house.
At this time, a relative from someone came to work. Just a relative said, it’s better to rent the house to me, and I’ll pay you the rent. Someone agreed and considered that the rent was only RMB 500 at that time, so it would be better not to. Just like that, over the past many years, my relatives have never paid rent. During this period, the price of the house has been rising, and the rent has naturally increased. Someone has been paying loans to buy two houses during this period.
Later, someone took a fancy to a business owner who built a new business, and the price of the location was very intimidating. The merchant is expensive, and someone must sell two houses if he wants to buy the merchant. After the right balance, I decided to sell the house I lived in and another house with a loan. Of course, there are many people who like good places and time is limited, so someone will talk to his relatives if he can find another house to rent as soon as possible.
Next, it is the drama that people like to see. The relative was very angry and said, "What do you mean? Are you leaving without knowing whether you are not sure about the person leaving? If you have any questions, do you just need to pay the rent? As for finding an excuse to throw people out? Are you so immoral?"
The final result was of course that the relative didn't look for a house at all. Someone couldn't wait, so he went to the agency to find a suitable house and said that he could pay the rent for one month first. When the relative saw that there was no way to do it, he said, "You sell the house to me!"
Someone was anxious to buy a dealer, and who was not selling it! But unexpectedly, my relatives proposed to buy this house for 100,000 RMB! According to the market price, this house has appreciated to 230,000. The agent even said that if he sells 200,000, he can directly collect the house in cash.
Someone cannot accept it. Then, the relatives came to many people and said, "It's not easy for two people. The child is still in school and it's not easy to work. You two are so close relatives. Your family has a few houses, so they have money and they don't need such a small amount of money. Even if you take care of the relatives, you can sell them at a cheap price to him;"
Someone finally said that he could sell them to him for the sake of the relatives. If the relatives don't buy them, they will directly entrust the agent. Then the words turned out to be like this: "You are going to kill people as much as possible! For money, even your relatives don't recognize them; for money, your heart is dark. If you are going to be reported, you will be destroyed in your family!"
The final result is that the two families are as destined as enemies. The story is over, it is a real thing. Welcome to take a seat with the number.
Emperor Taizong of Tang once said: "If you take history as a precept, you can see that you are happy." Eng wrote the story of the hatred in a simple way. That year, Gao Yun, the King of Northern Yan, saved two powerful men who had no food, and collected treasures and fine wine. What was the result? One day, the two sages suddenly thought: When we see him every day, we have to bow and kneel down. He is the king. We don’t have any officials. Then the two of them sected the palace and killed the King of Northern Yan alive.
Since ancient times, there is a very interesting saying in China: Fight rice to raise grace, fight rice to raise grudges.
I am helping you in time, you wish my family would be destroyed, and even more so, I really come to kill you!
Reason for the destruction of personality: "Gratitude is effective"Mr. Bai Yang expressed the bad nature of human beings in a very vivid way in his book "The Humble Chinese". However, I think we should seriously discuss the root causes of this deformed emotional state in terms of what we call "the bad nature of Chinese people".
Many years ago, I chatted with Spiderman, and he said, "The greater the ability, the greater the responsibility." I said, "The greater the hope, the greater the disappointment."
It is very noble to have a sad heart. Many capable people turn this sad heart into a full of passion and selflessly help those weak groups around them. Many philanthropists, NGO organizers, and good people who are sad and sad have little trouble after helping some people (note that they are certain people), but many times, the people we help us are actually cold and cold injuries. There was once an interesting news on the TV: A slim shop owner saw many workers and wandering houses without food to eat, so he started "Love Heart slim" and gave hot slim free. As a result, many people came to the owner of the thunder shop, "I won't win today. You can log in and return the thunder money to me!" The overscore was not only "I don't want thunder money, you can refund the thunder money to me." More overscore was that after stopping free thunder gifts, many "pure kind people" big thunder shops, some people who have suffered from thunder money, and some people who have broken the thunder money were …
I really couldn't forget the crying picture of the owner of the thunder shop. The boss and the people she helped were both good and bad, and the number of people was large, so it was impossible for people to come to lead the roar were all "bad people". Why didn’t these people realize that they should have thanked this kind woman who gave them a hot hair in the cold winter!
Why?
If explained using the concept of economics, I think this is a "side effect of gratitude". What is the side effect? I won't copy the boring economic definition here, let's take an example:
You are almost dead, someone gives you a roar, you are so grateful that you want to make a cow and horse; then, someone gives you a roar, you are so grateful that you cry bitterly; then, after another roar, you have eaten; then, there are still people who keep giving you a roar…
When you hold it in your hands There are dozens of puffs, you have almost forgotten that these people have saved you, your mind is probably: Why do these people who help charity show only know how to give puffs, I still need clothes, I still need money …
The first time I received help from strangers, I believe most people are grateful, but what if the same person gives him the second, third, and 100th time?
Sorry, he might take it for granted! Once you stop helping him, he will feel resentful.
Importantly, in this series of activities, the gratitude in the hearts of those who are helped is reduced to a certain extent, and the recipient has almost calmly accepted other people's rewards and taken it for granted. Finally, the recipients made more requests and did not think there was anything wrong with them.
The second reason for personality destruction: "The anger of the failure"You said that the people who provide assistance to the ox shop are all slaughter people, and slaughter people have their own limitations in thinking. OK, let me give you another example. The recipients are all "naive and innocent" students, including many college students:
How many people still remember this singer who once moved China's movement?
This is actually a tragic story. As a male singer who was once a glamorous, Feng Fei participated in more than 4 million performances in his short life, donated more than 3 million yuan to provide 183 poor students. He worked hard to perform in order to support poor children to go to school and delayed treatment, and died of gastric cancer. He was 37 years old.
When I was unable to continue to provide assistance when I was flying, what did those innocent and innocent students and college students called National Qiliang do?
Assisted student A: "Take, how much money does he make in acting? How much money can he spend on stomach problems?"
Assisted parent A: "Didn't you say you want to give my child to college? If my child is still in junior high school, you won't pay. Are you cheating people?"
Assisted student A: "I'm treating now, so I can't continue to transfer money."
Assisted parent A: "When will you cure your illness and make money in performance?"
It's hard to imagine how the last days of Fei's flight were spent. When he died, his family was barely barely, and his daughter was less than one year old. Those who had worked hard to save money from him when he was dead were still reaching out to ask him for money. His attitude was cold and strong. Many students even refused to admit that they were helped by flying, let alone visit him.
The reporter of the "China Youth News" visited some recipients that year, and some recipients said this: "I have never forced him."
Why?
In addition to "the side effect of gratitude", I will tell you another psychological concept: "the anger of the failure."
The anger of a failure comes from inferiority and panic that feels about his own failure situation. However, since people can always deliberate themselves, this inferiority and panic about his own situation, under the self-psychological adjustment (or what you can understand as distortion), breaks out of self-examination and turns to others from the beginning.
Flying examples are typical "the effect of gratitude" and "the anger of the failure". Due to this psychological distortion, the recipients' body changed, from "responsible" to "being used by others". They not only gradually forgot the feeling of being helped for the first time, but in the end, the recipients believed that flying helps them had a purpose, and turned hatred.
The ugly "angry of the failed person": "You are better than me now, and sooner or later you will be unlucky."
People who are strong in themselves are always reminding themselves of their failures, and people do not have the conditions to imply their own incompetence and shift their inferiority. Therefore, the closer the "anger of the failure" is, the more obvious it is, because his potential consciousness believes that your abilities, thinking, and pattern are the same level. You are better than me, but you are just better in your energy. He will never see your own efforts. Although some people do live a good life because of good energy.
We were all little friends who played mud together that year, and we were all good friends to eat the roadside together. We were always good friends to buy diapers for the children. We were all dilapidated customers in the village that year, and we were still living in a villa. We were still only able to do numb in adobe houses.
"You are better than me now, and sooner or later, you will be unlucky one day" is a typical "angry of the failure."
"I give you a candy. When you see me giving two candy to others, you have any opinions about me, but you don't know that he gave me two candy, and you didn't give me anything." This passage that was once popular in the circle of friends is also a typical anger of a failure. The unfair amount of candy makes him feel guilty and inferior in "failed friend relationship" in his potential, and instincts lead him to directly transfer the problem to the person who gave the candy, "You have problems in life." If unfortunately you have always given him candy selflessly, he has no longer received the warmth and emotion of the first candy, so once you give less or stop giving it to him, he will irreversibly become angry!
Okay.
If you unfortunately encounter such relatives in the opening story, or even flying such extreme examples, then when you think about it, maybe you should say something casually to those ungrateful people who are ignorant of asking for money to you?
